May 10, 2007
Blip TV
At last. I have found a site that allows me to post videos I take with my Samsung SCH-a930... I'm totally stoked. I can rate my videos, upload them, title them, visitors can comment on them, and just below "Recent Entries" on the sidebar, there are thumbnails of the last five videos. My profile on Blip is available at http://addisontodd.blip.tv. You can comment on videos, check out my NFO, and other things there. We should have a blast with this, loyal visitors. Plan on some real idiocy being posted.
Posted by Addison at 10:10 PM | Comments (7)
May 09, 2007
Morbid Fragrances
Always wanted a unique smell for that special someone? The search is complete with the launch of a new line of Fragrances from Addison Todd Apparel called Morbid Fragrances.
This special line of scents cater to the unique among us.
First on the lineup is a scent titled "Bloody Crush". A subtle scent mixture of blood, mixed with crushed roses, this scent is a subtle but dynamite scent.
Next, a hot new scent titled "Jack the Ripper". This fragrance is for killers. It combines the powerful scent of a sweaty body, with the hint of dirt and a trace of blood.
Third, the strongest of the new fragrances on the new lineup, a scent titled, "The Living Dead". This scent gracefully kicks you in the groin. A strong smell of dead, rotting flesh, it has traces of dirty bodies, and blood. This fragrance is also available in a box gift set that includes a sawed off 12 gauge shotgun, black fingernail polish, and a copy of the feature film "Shaun Of The Dead" on DVD.
Hurry and order these fragrances today!
Posted by Addison at 07:04 PM | Comments (0)
May 07, 2007
Energy Drink Reviews!
Totally awesome! A one stop info place.
Posted by Addison at 11:09 PM | Comments (3)
February 19, 2007
A warning
Tomorrow I shall post an attempt at poetry.
Posted by Addison at 01:34 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)
July 20, 2006
Top 10 Ways to Make Addison Hate You
1. Hate Addison
2. Treat Addison Horrible
3. Use a Mac Exclusively
4. Hate Firefox
5. Hate God
6. Hate Mountain Dew
7. Be A Goth
8. Be A Communist
9. Be a Muslim
And finally....
10. Be a grouch
Posted by Addison at 12:39 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack (0)
June 15, 2006
My Secret Identity
Everyone has a secret identity. Here's Mine.
Posted by Addison at 01:12 PM | Comments (10) | TrackBack (0)
June 09, 2006
All About Me Part 1
This has been going around on email... and I'm getting tired of sending it to different people. So, here it is about me, ask not further.
1. FIRST NAME: Addison
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yeah. There was this really cool guy who changed the world... and his name was Addison. ;-)
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? Hmmm. I think it was when I cut my hand open.
4. YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? it's alright
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? salami
6. KIDS? he! I wish. It does help if you're married...
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Hmmm. That's a really interesting question. I guess so. It depends on if I liked myself or not.
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? If you count my blog, then yes.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yes. Sometimes too much.
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? I guess. I don't really know.
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? In a heartbeat.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Shredded Oats I think it's called.
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Never. Laziness.
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Oh I'd like to think so.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Moose Tracks.
16. SHOE SIZE? Usually 10 1/2 or 11
17. RED OR PINK? Of the two probable red. Though Hot Pink is a very cool color.
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My quick, and oftentimes painful tongue.
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Miss? Well, nobody's really gone to miss. I do miss Joy when she's gone. And I miss hanging out with Jason.
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? Yup.
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES YOU ARE WEARING? Blue jean shorts. Blue sketchers.
22. LAST THING YOU ATE? Toast.
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The hum of my laptop's fan.
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? black.
25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? New stuff. Like new shoes. Mountain Dew has a nice smell.
26. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Mom.
27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Their sense of humor. If they don't have one, they're not worth considering.
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? oh not really... No! I'm just kidding, Sarah is awesome! *wonders if Sarah will kill him*
29. FAVORITE DRINK? Mountain Dew.
30. FAVORITE SPORT? Hockey, then football.
31. HAIR COLOR? Brown.
32. EYE COLOR? blue
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No
34. FAVORITE FOOD? Mexican. I love mexican food.
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? How 'bout a scary movie with a happy ending. Think: The Man Who Knew Too Much..?
36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Nanny McPhee
37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Grey.
38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Spring.
39. HUGS OR KISSES? From Guys: The "man's hug". From Girls: They can hug me if they really feel like it.
40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Ice Cream.
41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Still not sure who I'm going to send it to.
42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND. Probably my dad. If I send it to him.
43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? At the very moment: How To Win Friends And Influence People. I just finished House, Frank Peretti's newest book. I read a couple of different comics.
44 WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? I'm on my laptop, so I'm going by memory, but I think it's the navy... No wait, It's a Lindenwood U mousepad.
45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? The only thing I watch on TV is Monty Python, (when it's clean) Red Green, and an occasional sports event.
46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? Music. Laughter.
47. ROLLING STONE OR BEATLES? I guess beatles. Cuz I've heard one of their songs, and Mick Jagger is UGLY!!!
48. THE FURTHEST YOU BEEN FROM HOME? Uganda, Africa.
49. TALENT? Gee, where do I start... ? ;-)
50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? April 27, 1988, St Louis, Missouri, USA
Posted by Addison at 01:12 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
May 20, 2006
50 Things To Do In an Elevator
1. Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dangit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, blasted motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "x-ray specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
Posted by Addison at 11:33 AM | Comments (8)
May 17, 2006
50 fun things to do on a final that doesn't matter
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc.). Play with the volume at max level.
9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
10. Bring pets.
11. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, and throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
14. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
15. Come down with a BAD case of Turret’s Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.
17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when he or she not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
22. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple-choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).
23. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out “Screw this!” and walk out triumphantly.
25. Arrange protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink)
26. Act completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, “the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!”
28. Comment on how good the instructor is looking that day.
29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling, “I’m here, the phantom of the opera” until they drag you away.
30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say “you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!”
32. Bring a water pistol with you. ‘Nuff said.
33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.
35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get PI and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
36. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.
37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
38. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment “Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit.”
39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, and ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
41. One word: Wrestlemania.
42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
43. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
44. Play Frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say, “it helps me think.” Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase “Told you so”.
50. Answer the exam with the “Top Ten Reasons why Professor xxxx is horrible”
Posted by Addison at 03:10 PM | Comments (11)
March 14, 2006
Update
My apologiesIt seems that I’ve been too busy to post to my site like I really should. Unfortunately, the same is true for Briefly Put.
Anyway, to update: It seems that I’ve been busy with CAP, church, and, yes, even school. It may be awhile before I post for real again. Life is getting pretty busy. We’ll see. All those who have ever verbally trashed about posting silliness, (mainly Ruth) take notice. This is what I would call a silly post. It doesn’t happen often, so enjoy it.
My sanity
Disclaimer: anything beyond this point is posted purely as a humorous subject and should not be considered factual, or grounds to second guess my true self, which, in case it hasn’t been clarified, is purely genius. That being said…
It would seem that an explanation is in order based on Harrison’s comments. Due to my unstable nature, it has become clear to those that waste their time around me that I need people to keep me in line. Among those that have stepped up is Paul, who takes on the role of my therapist, and Harrison, my lawyer. Now, let me make it clear that statements made on their part by no means can be attributed to me, and should not be considered a representation of my views and opinions.
I understand that it might worry some of my loyal fans that I am losing screws and coming apart at the seams and that our beloved Addison is soon to be no more than a lifeless internet and Mountain Dew consuming machine. Couple this with the fact that I am taking on the role of one of the world’s most famous scumbags, (Nero) and I can see the cause for worry. However, you would do well to eradicate the idea at once. Addison is NOT coming apart at the seams. I have regular sessions with the man we all trust and love, (Paul) and my legal matters are handled with utmost delicacy by Harrison.
You see, the genius of Addison is not withering, rather it is being put to practice in areas that, shall we say, are less noticeable by the general public. I am still the genius and will continue to be such.
Posted by Addison at 08:23 PM | Comments (0)
