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April 30, 2007
Comments
Due to the flood of spam in the comments... Commenting has been turned off for the night... email me if it's important... They'll probably get turned back on later this week.. I just can't deal with the huge amount of spam I'm getting....
Sorry for you...
Posted by Addison at 11:09 PM | Comments (4)
"Cell phones are the new cigarettes"
"Cell phones are the new cigarettes"
And I'd rather have cellphones than cigarettes for a variety of reasons...
Posted by Addison at 01:41 PM | Comments (4)
April 29, 2007
White & Nerdy
Song: White & Nerdy
Band/Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
Album: Straight Outta Lynwood
Year: 2006
They see me mowin'... my front lawn
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Can't ya see I'm white & nerdy?
Look at me, I'm white & nerdy
I wanna roll with... the gangstas
But so far they all think I'm too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
I'm just too white & nerdy
Really, really white & nerdy
First in my class there at MIT
Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D
MC Escher, that's my favorite MC
Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin - to the contrary
You'll find that they're quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Stephen Hawking's in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
Got people beggin' for my Top 8 spaces
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills, but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I'm a whiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days
Once you see my sweet moves, you're gonna stay amazed
My fingers movin' so fast, I'll set the place ablaze
There's no killer app I haven't run
At Pascal, well, I'm number one
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat but I got a soldering gun
"Happy Days" is my favorite theme song
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon
Here's the part I sing on...
They see me roll on... my Segway
I know in my heart they think I'm white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Can't ya see I'm white & nerdy?
Look at me, I'm white & nerdy
I'd like to roll with... the gangstas
Although it's apparent I'm too white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
I'm just too white & nerdy
How'd I get so white & nerdy?
I've been browsin', inspectin'
X-Men comics, you know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket, I must protect 'em
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media
I edit, Wikipedia
I memorized "Holy Grail" really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doin' web sites
When my friends need some code, who do they call?
I do HTML for 'em all
Even made a home page for my dog
Yo, I got myself a fanny pack
They were havin' a sale down at The Gap
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
Pop pop, hope no one sees me... gettin' freaky
I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream
I was in A/V Club and Glee Club and even the chess team
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was, do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire
Got my name on my underwear
They see me strollin'... they laughin'
And rollin' their eyes 'cause I'm so white & nerdy
Just because I'm white & nerdy
Just because I'm white & nerdy
All because I'm white & nerdy
Holy cow, I'm white & nerdy
I wanna bowl with... the gangstas
But oh well, it's obvious I'm white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
I'm just too white & nerdy
Look a' me, I'm white & nerdy
This is by far, the best weird al song ever.
Available for listen on the Addison Todd Player.
You can also see the uber-hilarious video here...
Posted by Addison at 01:28 PM | Comments (4)
April 28, 2007
Canadian Idiot
Song: Canadian Idiot
Band/Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
Album: Straight Outta Lynwood
Year: 2006
Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut
And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head?
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed
They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin' heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny?
Their stupid Monopoly money
Can't take 'em seriously at all
Well maple syrup and snow's what they export
They treat curling just like it's a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can't understand a thing they're talkin' aboot
Sure they got their national health care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of drivin' a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan
Don't wanna be a Canadian idiot
Won't figure out their temperature in Celsius
See the map, they're hoverin' right over us
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous
Always hear the same kind of story
Break their nose and they'll just say "sorry"
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?
It's gotta mean they're all up to somethin'
So quick, before they see it comin'
Time for a pre-emptive strike!
Posted by Addison at 01:48 PM | Comments (1)
April 27, 2007
1988
On this date, in 1988. I was born. I... never mind with the details. Here I am. Party all day long people. Email, IM, text, do something. Thank you, thank you. Your lives may now resume...
Posted by Addison at 12:01 AM | Comments (5)
April 26, 2007
Trash Day
Song: Trash Day
Band/Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
Album: Poodle Hat
Year: 2003
It's rotten
So rotten here
So rotten
Oh !
It was like, the last day before trash day
My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay
Even though the garbage I knew would reek
(You know) Thought that I could leave it for one more week
Then, um, I'm takin'
Birthday cake 'n'
(Oh) Chili and greasy old bacon
Throw it all on top of the mess I been makin'
Wife's so mad, she starts to shakin'
Leaky bag, 'n' not a girl thats baggin'
She's naggin'
"I need you to get that stuff off the kitchen floor"
"Is that too much to ask you for?"
But I see no reason why
Can't let a few more weeks go by
And now garbage is piled high
And buddy, you should see the flies
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you better take the trash out)
Oh, boy there's a lot in here (a lot)
And every day it grows (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you better take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
Look at all this garbage I keep generatin'
(Come on) I sit around all day and watch it biodegradin'
Bet there's a hundred health codes that I'm violatin'
Even my dog passed out and needed resuscitatin'
You won't believe it, take a whiff of that aroma
Sure to put you in a coma
It's so messy, can't find my toenail clippers
It so bad the roaches wearin' slippers
Warm, sweaty clothes piled up in this joint
Stand up by themselves at this point
It's so filthy, now baby, I can't lie
I wipe my feet before I go outside
I wonder what crawled in here and died
(You know) Walkin' 'round barefoot, I'd be terrified
But it gives me stuff to talk about with my friends
Like, "Hey, I think them rats gettin' big!"
Oh
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Oh, look what we got in here (now what?)
Let's watch it decompose (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you better take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
With a little bit a ***, and a little bit a ***
Make me wanna throw up
It makes ya wanna ***, just makes ya wanna ***
Oh
Some Lysol, some Comet
I got a mop and it's got your name on it
(What?) I'm just kiddin', doggone it
(Oh) Unless you gonna do it
Careful not to breathe the fumes
Check it, garbage piles are goin' all the way to the bathroom
Turn into toxic waste sometime this afternoon
Better get a Hazmat suit and a push broom
Oh
There's somethin' rotten here (say what?)
You better hold your nose, oh (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you gotta take the trash out)
Oh, it's gone to pot in here (to pot)
Bring out the firehose (uh, uh, uh, uh)
(Hey, you disgusting slob, you better take the trash out)
Make ya wanna throw up
With a little bit a ***, and a little bit a ***
Make me wanna throw up
Give a little bit a ***, and a tiny bit a ***
Make ya wanna throw up
Mix a little bit a *** with a molecule a ***
Make me wanna throw up
It makes me wanna *** (aw, eww), just makes me wanna *** [spit]
Oh
The Asterisks are vomit sounds... Man that's a funny song.
Posted by Addison at 01:41 PM
April 25, 2007
Ebay
Song: Ebay
Band/Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
Album: Poodle Hat
Year: 2003
A used...pink bathrobe
A rare...mint snowglobe
A Smurf...TV tray
I bought on eBay
My house...is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay
Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay
I'll buy...your knick-knack
Just check...My feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay
Gonna buy (a slightly damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)
(From some guy) I never met in Norway
Found him on eBay
I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa, whatever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough
I'll buy...your tchotchkes
Sell me...your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy...)
I'm highest bidder now
(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)
(From that world-wide garage sale)
(Hey! A Dukes of Hazzard ashtray)
Oh yeah...(I bought it on eBay)
Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks)
(Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre)
(Found it on eBay)
Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcett poster)
(Pez dispensers and a toaster)
(Don't know why...The kind of stuff you'd throw away)
(I'll buy on eBay)
What I bought on eBay
Available for listen on the Addison Todd Player.
Posted by Addison at 01:36 PM | Comments (1)
April 24, 2007
Ponder
Don't know why I'm posting this... really don't...
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole Box to start a campfire?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze These dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to think that an oyster must taste good?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why do they have Braille and picture menus in the drive through?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
What happened to the people that tested preparation A thru G ?
I don't know why I took the nearly two minutes it took to format that and put it on here... this is like the most useless post ever... for me anyway...
Posted by Addison at 03:30 PM | Comments (6)
April 20, 2007
Amish Paradise
Song: Amish Paradise
Band/Artist: Weird Al Yankovic
Album: Bad Hair Day
Year: 1996
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize shes very plain
But thats just perfect for an amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning Im milkin cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and jacob plows... fool
And Ive been milkin and plowin so long that
Even ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
Im a man of the land, Im into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight were gonna party like its 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
Ive churned butter once or twice
Living in an amish paradise
Its hard work and sacrifice
Living in an amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price
Living in an amish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really dont care, in fact I wish him well
cause Ill be laughing my head off when hes burning in hell
But I aint never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An amish with a tude?
You know thats unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree
I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, youll be bored to tears
We havent even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we aint really quaint, so please dont point and stare
Were just technologically impaired
Theres no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like robinson caruso
Its as primitive as can be
We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
Were just plain and simple guys
Living in an amish paradise
Theres no time for sin and vice
Living in an amish paradise
We dont fight, we all play nice
Living in an amish paradise
Hitchin up the buggy, churnin lots of butter
Raised a barn on monday, soon Ill raise anutter
Think youre really righteous?
Think youre pure in heart?
Well, I know Im a million time as humble as thou art
Im the pious guy the little amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin points for the afterlife
So dont be vain and dont be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie
We been spending most our lives
Living in an amish paradise
Were all crazy mennonites
Living in an amish paradise
Theres no cops or traffic lights
Living in an amish paradise
But youd probably think it bites
Living in an amish paradise
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!
Posted by Addison at 11:52 AM | Comments (4)
Love At First Bite?
This is kinda scary.... Poor guy.
via: Reuters
Posted by Addison at 11:49 AM
April 19, 2007
You Are Here
I walk outside on a calm cool night that is just beginning. I gaze upward and see pinpricks of light I recognize as stars begin to form on a pale pink sky. The is at peace. Or so it seems. For, in this instance of staring upwards, I feel as though nothing matters. Even the things that do matter, are meaningless in this moment. I find myself wishing you were here. Not to talk, for words are not what I desire. I desire your presence. To make what is complete into perfection. And it seems, though you're not here, you are. I see the things that we would see. Think the thoughts that we would think.
And, in this moment, you are here. And I love it. I cradle you in my arms as we stare into the sky. In this moment, everything is right. Everything is perfect. A wave of gratitude sweeps over me as I think of the others that could be here, but aren't. You however, are. And that means much to me.
Posted by Addison at 08:24 PM | Comments (3)
April 17, 2007
Virginia Tech
I'm not going to say all that everyone else is saying. About how it's shocking, saddening, etc. I don't know what to say really. The pain caused by a short two hours is long lasting. Lifetime pain. Deep, searing wounds.
Posted by Addison at 09:15 PM | Comments (2)
April 09, 2007
Yes. I'm on Twitter. My profile is at twitter.com/addisontodd.
It's a neat idea. Register, than post short (under 160 characters) updates about what you're doing at any given moment. Update it from IM, the web, (twitter.com) or send TXT messages from your phone. Their tagline is "What are you doing?". It's also fun to watch the public timeline. You can add your friends and get updates on what they're doing. There are also some neat users on there. For example, I follow Darth Vader. His updates are hilarious! I also follow zombieattack. A small town under attack by zombies. Their bio says "The world is under attack by zombies. Watch what happens." Awesome. So, why am I posting this? I guess to say get on Twitter. It's fun. It's addicting. If not, you can see my updates to Twitter on the right hand side underneath "Recent Entries". Have fun!
Posted by Addison at 12:47 PM | Comments (9)
Dreamed up phone number leads man to a bride
Dreamed up phone number leads man to a bride
Wow. Perhaps I should try this.
via Reuters
Posted by Addison at 11:35 AM | Comments (2)
April 03, 2007
Does your desk look like this?
Mine does
Posted by Addison at 07:20 PM | Comments (2)
