« moving | Main | Official Addison Todd Merchandise! »
February 24, 2007
I am this man
Years ago in a time past I would look at him. A wave of disgust and hate would sweep over me, and I would look away. And then look back. It seemed everyone hated him. As I did, they turned up their noses and scoffed, frowned and hated. He didn't even seem to notice how conceited and vain he was. His look, his act, they were scorned by all who knew him. His only "friends" were ones who had the same act. He hung out with popular kids, he had all the cute girls, but he is an empty, lonely shell. To him, the world is a dirt bag. One ignores the game. Slowly, surely, steadily, I found myself liking him. Like a parasite, he fed upon my bowels until, it seemed, I was him. Or he was me. What difference does it really make anymore? I woke up in the morning and stared into the mirror for a very long moment. After sleep left me, I stared deeper into my eyes. I stared at my face. I gazed upon my features. Then the similarity hit me. I was him. Deep inside a portion of me that hardly ever comes out. He had eaten me to what seemed was the very core of who I am. I vowed to do something to cleanse myself of this man I'd become. For, as it was, I hated myself. He had done this to me. No, I had done it. There was no turning back. I am this man whom I hate. I am this man.
Posted by Addison on February 24, 2007 10:35 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.addisontodd.com/cgi-bin/mt-tb.cgi/145
Comments
It sounds like you need a hug.
Not EVERYONE hates you, silly boy.
Posted by: munchkin at February 24, 2007 11:20 PM
Maybe not everyone...
Posted by: Addison at February 25, 2007 10:19 AM
HA! See.. it's really not so bad. I happen to know someone who loves you very much and will continue to love you no matter what. Two people to be exact.
Posted by: munchkin at February 25, 2007 03:45 PM
"My Enemies Are Men Like Me".
Posted by: Tolkienist at February 25, 2007 07:12 PM
"My Enemies Are Men Like Me".
Posted by: Tolkienist at February 25, 2007 07:12 PM
"My Enemies Are Men Like Me".
Posted by: Tolkienist at February 25, 2007 07:14 PM
Wow... that's good.
I sense more than one element of truth in the tone as well.
Posted by: Harrison Beckmann at February 25, 2007 09:58 PM
Wow... that's good.
I sense more than one element of truth in the tone as well.
Posted by: Harrison Beckmann at February 25, 2007 09:58 PM
Woah. Sorry for the triple posting. It acted like it wouldn't submit.
Posted by: Tolkienist at February 26, 2007 10:03 AM
I think all the sadness is getting to the computer. First a triple and now a double. *laughs*
Sorry. >.<
Posted by: munchkin at February 26, 2007 08:52 PM
You can never change who you are. Only God can IF you let him. You have to choose to let Him everyday. This change requires much time in the Word and prayer talking to God about what He just talked to you about through His Word. If you have questions about this you know where to find me.
Posted by: Esther Spilger at March 1, 2007 10:11 PM
you write so well, Addison. thank you for your courage to post something so . . . I'm wordless at the moment, but this reminded me of that feeling, a feeling we all get sometimes. thanks for posting it
Posted by: Joyous at March 12, 2007 09:37 PM
