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May 20, 2006
50 Things To Do In an Elevator
1. Make racecar noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dangit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, blasted motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "x-ray specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
Posted by Addison on May 20, 2006 11:33 AM
Comments
*shakes head* *deep sigh* it becomes really pathetic when you can picture a friend doing all of them. I can't picture you doing it. You're too tall.
Posted by: yoj at May 20, 2006 04:46 PM
I would do all of them.
Posted by: Addison at May 20, 2006 11:46 PM
You're just dumb enough to do all of them. Frankly, I found few of the ones on this list funny and more of them either childish or disgusting. The rest left me scratching my head going, "Was that supposed to be funny?" Maybe you ought to stick to exams.
Posted by: Harrison Beckmann at May 21, 2006 06:18 AM
In order to do them effectively, you have to have the right look. You have to be short and cute, look young enough to not know better, yet in reality be old enough to know better. You really don't have that look. I know someone who does ^_^
If people saw you doing things like that, they'd just think
"*sigh* there goes another demented teenager. Why do we put up with them anyways?"
Posted by: yoj at May 21, 2006 02:42 PM
Now that I finally got to see them all and not just hear blips of them at encampment...they honestly are funny. Wish that the whole flight had known about them when we went down that "missile silo" We probably would have been decamped or something though so maybe it was best not to know them?
Posted by: thompson at July 8, 2006 06:54 PM
Two words: OH BROTHER!!!!!!!
Posted by: Kat at April 12, 2007 05:04 PM
Two words: OH BROTHER!!!!!!!
Posted by: Kat at April 12, 2007 05:04 PM
Two words: OH BROTHER!!!!!!!
Posted by: Kat at April 12, 2007 05:04 PM
